Monday, May 2, 2016

Blog as of April 26, 2016 – “Thyme For Change”

Blog as of April 26, 2016 – “Thyme For Change”

Welcome back to 4SoC blog. Sorry it’s been a while. Life simply just happens. Hopefully you will get up to speed quickly with me and all that’s going onJ

Let’s go through the balance board i.e. 9 Life Areas (no judgments please; prayers welcome).

CARLI ANN MCCLURE
2016 BALANCE BOARD

WORD OF THE YEAR: SIMPLIFY

QUOTE: “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

Life Area
Goal
Status as of 4/15/16
Wealth & Prosperity
Sell Binner House
Move to Gilbert
Leverage Savings Towards a More Stable Future
Binner house went up for sale in January
New place is in Gilbert, only a few miles from my parents’ and sister’s places; The commute to clients is less than desirable but the closeness to the family is convenient for me and has increased the happiness of the boys substantially
Moved Chandler office into new place as well
Substantial savings provides more stability and living less aggressively; Great for me and the businessJ
Thought: On the right path to financial health
Reputation & Fame
Sell 3 more clients
Retain 3 large clients all year
Added a large partnership and 2 coaching clients thus far; a great 1st quarter
Current client base remaining fairly stable
Thought: Hardwork and caring matters; authenticity counts
(Marriage = Not) & Relationships
Acknowledge my feelings, remember what I have learned
Think positive thoughts about what I have to offer another
Be open to the next chapter of my life, take a few, small initial steps
Ended long-term relationship which was dysfunctional and unhealthy on multiple levels; starting dating in January. This has helped me realize that my previous relationship was actually an emotionally abusive one. I’m scared and very vulnerable. I’m not a fan of feeling this way. I like having a plan and some control (at least when I’m not being spontaneous).
The good news is that I have a better understand of what needs I want met, as well as what I have to offer. Learning that this process is both very painful and time consuming.
I went out 5 different guys thus far. Only a few, I’ve had multiple dates. The longest of those latest a week and a half. No connection. No attraction. Rich guys, young guys, old guys. All good guys. None for me though. I’ve chatted with others online but they are a hell no.  
So I made a big transition to seeking a unicorn. Good news, I started talking with and hanging out with a potential one so that’s something. A bit of a bumpy start (cuz I’m an idiot) but I’m trying to be optimistic and focus on hope. If either of us can get to the point where we are actually open to the thought of potential. We are both so guarded and controlling is quite interesting. Whatever, at least this one intrigues me.
Thought: Risk is required when seeking a reward
Health & Well-being
Be my healthiest self
Have increase physical exercise a lot! My body is finally starting to change in a positive manner. Eating is on track – vegetarian and gluten free. Massages and resistance work for my pain is helping. Sleep and rest is a priority in my life.
Thought: A daily focus and struggle but committed to the change
Children & Creativity
Healthy, productive boys –spiritually, emotionally, physically
Engaged in life – faith, family, friends, school, sports
Not gonna lie, I am succeeding here with one and failing with another
Jaxon is a happy guy. Upon moving he transferred schools and he is a new little man. He has a love for life and cares deeper for others than many ever will. He prays with me nightly for all in our lives, especially those in need. He is a football and basketball player that enjoys helping the other kids learn. He struggles with reading but is in a few special programs and is getting there.
Marcus is a hot mess. He is in love for the first time. The family isn’t accepting of him. He is heart broken. He struggles with completion and time management for school and life. He is a very sensitive guy despite the fact he looks 5 years older than he is. He is easily frustrated, as he has been since birth. The good news is that he is praying more and looking to God for guidance. He truly wants to be a good kid. That makes me very proud.
Thoughts: Parenthood is like extreme sporting and I was a swimmerL Impressive that the boys are still drowning me.
Wisdom & Knowledge
Complete PhD Program
Hopefully you can see that I’m kind of busy. My priority of this has slipped a bit. I am at the point where I can submit my prospectus (i.e. the 1st piece of my dissertation) to the committee. The only issue here is that my research needs to be more current. I am working on that. I still have every intention to finish in 2016.
Thoughts: I have to push A LOT harder here.
Career & Life Mission
Provide great client service; be prepared and present with each session
I got some great feedback from a dear friend and client, that I need to be more present. This happened last fall. I take all feedback to heart.
I have made every effort to be “there” for my clients whether in a meeting, on the phone or simply working on their projects. I am focused on their needs and the value.
I have implemented project management software to ensure items aren’t missed. I truly want them to flourish and me to be a part of that success.
Thoughts: My life mission is to promote others to accomplish their dreams. I have to be present to make that happen.
Spirituality & Travel
Women’s Bible Study
Intensive therapy and yoga sessions
A close friend hosts a weekly bible study but has been sketchy due to moms’ schedule. My goal is to focus on this during the summer break.
My prayers with God have evolved in a positive manner.
I have committed to meeting with my Life Coach i.e. counselor or therapist or guru at least monthly. So far I’m on it and with my life complexities, it is helping me which translates to help others. A focus area I have from this is to not hold onto guilt for mistakes, release any shame. I’ve come along way on this in my lifetime; never will come naturally though. I hate hurting others, even out of stupidity or being na├»ve. Wish there was a handbook to fix this. I’m also being very open to new experiences with myself and others. It’s been interesting…My biggest realization is that I am numb to much emotion. My past has been so hurtful, I’m like a robot. Hence why the intrigue with this current guy is good. First one where that isn’t the case although I keep trying to keep the robot in place.
Yoga has been hit and miss but I finally found a studio by my new place. Maybe this will become routine soon.
Thoughts: Make God the center of my life regardless of what is thrown at me. Be grateful for what I have and thankful that my obstacles aren’t as much as they could be. Stay peaceful.
Attitude4Gratitude
Focus on things that are healthy for my mind, heart and spirit.
1 – Relationship with God
2 – Family & Friends
3 – Health
1 – Always working on my spiritual journey
2 – Love them; My lifelines
3 – Focused here a lot!
Thoughts: I have grown to a place where tears come less and joy comes more.


Purpose is the reason for my journey. Passion lights my way.” – Anonymous

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Halloween 2015



Happy Halloween to all of you! I am on a plane returning from a somewhat unexpected trip that I am extremely grateful for. I spent the week with a friend that is dear to me and had the pleasure with a bit of time from a few others from my Halloween past. My Attitude4Gratitude is the opportunity that I was provided to be able to go, from the invitation itself to all of those that helped make it happen. 

My friend hasn't spent an entire day with me since prior to my divorce. Not that we are disconnected, but our lives due to home and work have required us to put our attention elsewhere. By the time we arrived to our destination, I learned something. Her reaction to my day of travel based on emails, texts and calls was that she thought my day was crazy. She was surprised that this was a normal day for me. That was a wake-up. My life is actually alot harder than I portray or even think it to be. The good news is that I was blessed with time to think about that. I was given more than an invitation or opportunity, I was given the gift of time to actually think. 

This reflection time allowed me space to focus on the matters of my heart. I want to share my findings with you in hopes that you can connect with some of my struggles and the solutions I have documented to try. Of course, all will be provided through the tool that I live by, the 4SoC Balance Board (wealth & prosperity, reputation & fame, marriage & relationships, health & rest, children & creativity, wisdom & self-knowledge, career & life mission, plus spirituality & travel, fyi A4G already happened).  

Overall themes: simplicity, calming energy and patience

Wealth & Prosperity
- Here I want to focus on my company and coaching clients, period. They provide for me and I want to provide for them. It's a give and take that should be reciprocated each month. It's a nice check-in. 
- Begin working with my boyfriend or manfriend as a team and be accepting of support whether current or future focused.

Reputation & Fame
- My team has drafted a marketing plan. I received a draft just prior to leaving and will review upon my return. I want to ensure it aligns to my 4SoC Balanced Scorecard Strategy, includes my current volunteer and community obligations, as well as grows a concept to reach more with leadership needs that do not have access to such resources. 
- I also want to keep true to who I am and be courageous and confident enough to show others that I am not near perfect but try hard and learn from my mistakes no matter how grand that they are. (FYI: I made a whopper error this week and did the best I could to make amends. I reminded myself that humility and care is my true north.)

Marriage & Relationships
- I have been divorced about a year and a half now. I thought about that alot. Most of you know that I've been alone for most of my adult life regardless of the box I checked whether single or married. The good news is that I've had enough time to remember how much I love my ex-husband and acknowledge that I probably always will. I may have not married someone perfectly compatible for me, but I did may him for love. The growth during that marriage was essential to my personal and professional development. I have a sense of peace and gratitude knowing that. 
- As for relationships, I have a man-friend. He is a royal pain the rear end. He is controlling and a work-aholic. He volunteers, has a great career and is an amazing father. He is my best friend. Embarking on this is a bit scary but I am evolved enough to understand that I do not need perfection. Perfection is tiring and fraudulent as it doesn't exist. I need love and companionship through honesty, transparency, and support. I need laughter that comes with mishaps and great stories. I need care and consideration when no one but me may know it exists. I need a home that is one for a family. The one where our children want to be now and in the future. I think he wants to be that man, so we will see. I want to give him that chance. 

Health & Rest
- I have been exhausted for months now. I don't do anything but the essentials. On a Saturday night, I work. On a Sunday, I work. It's sad but true. Based on my health history, this is a huge issue. My health allows me to work and provide for my children. I have to be serious that this is not acceptable as a way of life. 
- I wrote a lot during my trip. I wrote in my journal at the cove watching the waves. I wrote in the midst of the rainforest while sitting on a rock watching the waterfall flow. I wrote in the bar at the pool and hotel restaurant during happy hour (that's me being honest). 
- I decided that I need more nature in my world, both green vegetation and water. I will consider that for my home, work and activities. I need more physical activity that is restoration, like swimming, kayaking, hiking and yoga. My pilates is therapeutic but I don't get enough in of the other good stuff. I need to clean eat 100% even during the holidays. This will be my Eat for Your Blood Type focus, gluten-free, vegetarian. I need to go to bed at a decent hour even on the weekends when I don't have 
the boys. I need to use that time to rest more. I need to not skip my healthy appointments that when I do them monthly help my body to heal and feel better. I need to not feel any guilt for the time and dollars of these efforts. 
- The good news is that I have accepted the figure of my 30s. I am curvy. I simply smile at all of the experiences that have taken me here…

Children & Creativity
- My children continue to struggle with the divorce. I am beginning to believe that they will never truly heal from it. That part is difficult. Each tries to get attention differently. There is a new level of distraction that I haven't seen before. It puts my stress to a level that only another parent can possibly understand. I feel helpless on many days despite all of my efforts. The silver lining is that the boys had three adults plus a nanny helping while I was gone and they struggled badly. It was another wake-up call. I'm doing the work of a team, much of it on my own. Remembering my efforts and that being a good mom to the boys is simply a hard job. The great news is that I am one of the most disciplined people you will meet. They are likely to be my life's work. 
- My solution or idea for this struggle is to keep it simple with them. I have a formula that I will begin to use. CMJ = F3 + A2. This stands for: Carli|Marcus|Jaxon = Faith*Family*Friends + Academics*Athletics. The boys can focus on the formula. I can focus on the formula. It will be the strategy for our family team. As for me, I will work on loving them, supporting them, and having the patience everyday to help them execute that formula. 

Wisdom & Self-Knowledge
- I am working on my dissertation now. Coursework is done. I'm in the process of getting my prospectus approved. It's a big step and I'm going to try to get that one done by Thanksgiving. 
- My self-knowledge was this trip..duh!

Career & Life Mission
- I am living my life mission or a slice of it. My career goal is to put together a full values plan by client for 2016 by the end of December. It's no longer an Annual Services Agreement, it's an Annual Value Agreement. I want to elevate the way in which I help my clients. 

Spirituality & Travel
- My spirituality has grown so much through this process. I want to continue this growth and take time for the bible each week over a cup of tea. Continue with worship and youth groups for the boys. Continue to pray with the boys...make it our life. 
- I want to stop my cursing so darn much! 
- I need one trip with the kids and one trip with the man-friend by year end, no matter how far or how long.

Lastly, a big fix for all of this is to reimplement my schedule of timeblocking for my clients. Already drafted on the plane. Check that out!

Hope you can relate to me in some way or grasp a concept to try. 

Love and Peace Always, 
Carli


Sunday, September 6, 2015

Labor Day Weekend - September 2015

Long time, no write. Once you read this you will know whyJ

I’ll just cut to the chase and walk through my Balance Board i.e. 9 Life Areas and give you the 411.

Wealth

I continue to prosper in this area. 2015 was a big investment year as I opened an office in Chandler and have an assistant, Amanda Fletcher. For any entrepreneur, you understand that growth is positive, but it is expensive. These investments have hit my bottom line, but at a minimum adding Amanda, was the right choice to more effectively and caringly serve my clients. It allows me more time with them face-to-face or working on their projects.

On a personally note, I have been house hunting. Who knows if I’ll meet my internal deadline of end of 2015 to move, but we will see. I am still residing in my house that I’ve lived in for twelve years, of which ten included being married. Upon divorce, I promised the boys that we’d stay a minimum of two years for them to acclimate to the changes. I have worked hard to be able to stay here financially for them. For anyone that has gone through a loss, it is very difficult to stay in the same surroundings. I have painted and done some minor aesthetic changes, but there are too many memories here. I need a change. Although I’d like to move to Phoenix and be closer to majority of my clients, the boys come first. Jaxon is portable. He makes friends easy and would have no issues. Marcus is more rigid and needs stability. Therefore, I continue to look in Chandler and Gilbert. My hope is that the new place would have a great working office for Amanda and I as well. Time will tell.

Another success is that my will and trust has been finalized for Carli only purposes. A good feeling for me knowing that the boys will be taken care of.

Reputation

My reputation is growing. Change brings opportunity and my clients have “opportunities” all over the place. All of my work is received via referrals, so I am meeting that goal. Also, I am a monthly speaker at the TAG, Trusted Advisory Group, meetings. Lastly, I will be a break-out trainer at the AZ Women’s Leadership Forum on 10/15 focusing on Team Leadership. Good stuff there!

Relationships (No MarriageL)

I’m currently seeing someone. They are a workaholic, single dad of twin girls so “seeing” may not be the right word. If you replace dad and twin girls with mom and two boys for the last sentence, you’d be talking about me. I’m guilty but he is definitely guiltier. So we are working on it. If things spice up, I’ll keep you informed.
Health

My health has been going a lot better until about a week ago. It’s football season (which I hate)! We were in the heat last week at the boys’ games for about 5-6 hours. I got heat exhaustion like usual from the fibromyalgia. This put me into a flare up for about a week now. I’m using the Labor Day weekend for a bit of extra rest to be ready for next week.

Outside of the football drama, my health really is in a good place. I am exercising a lot. I do pilates 2-3 times a week, yoga 1-2 times a week, boxing once a week and then the gym as needed. Additionally, I’m still eating 95% clean or for my blood type A+. I have eliminated all medications except for two, one for fibro and one for thyroid. The rest are all natural supplements. My sleep is pretty stable due to the exercise.

On the horizon is the fall…i.e. tennis and hiking. I can’t wait!

Children

The boys are my Beautiful Disasters! Both are struggling with the divorce still. Mr. Roger our counselor is a Christian grandpa that works magic on them. Both are football players. Marcus is now 5’ 10” and 160 pounds plus and Jaxon is 4’ 10” 90 pounds plus. For 13 and 8 those are big boys. They are doing well in school academically. Socially Jaxon talks too much and Marcus is glued to his phone. Overall, they are so loved, I tell myself whatever. I call Jaxon my boyfriend, because he loves me back. I call Marcus my husband as it depends on the day.

Wisdom

Round of applause or smack me upside the head… I have officially completed all of my PhD classes and am in the dissertation phase of the program. Less than a year to go!

Research and Topic for the Book: Impact of Gender on the Mentoring of Female Professional’s Leadership Development

My highlight is that the CEO of YWCA in Phoenix has offered to help me get my participants for the study! She is going to mentor me to get this puppy done. I am so grateful! Also, if you have an organization with lots of professional women, email me at: carli@4soc.net.  I’ll be doing the study this fall or so.

On the personal side, I still work with Robin as my life guru each month plus in yoga practice. She helps me maintain balance and insight into me.

Career

My career goal is to continue with 4SoC, so far, so good. I look at my career in jumps. I have been working on an app to share with everyone with information on 4SoC as well as leadership tips etc. I have a YouTube channel which I will start doing videos. The biggest issue here is simply TIME! I am committed to all though for the long haul.

Spirituality

My spirituality is what keeps me grounded, centered, and positive. It is knowing that God has a plan for me makes everything so much easier. I used to be a 24x7 control freak. It was nuts. I let the small things that I couldn’t control get to me. I was a stress addict.

Now, when something happens, I put it into perspective. First, I remember God’s plan. For instance, if a client cancels, I tell myself that God must want me to have more time for school or to catch up on emails. If I get stuff in traffic, I tell myself that I must need to be on this path versus an earlier one. Next, I practice kindness. When someone frustrates me, I remind myself to do this. I try to remember that each person has a hard journey and theirs isn’t to hurt me. Try it all out!

Attitude4Gratitude

My A4G is about people. I love my family, friends, clients, colleagues and community. I am smiling just thinking about them all. Just wish I had more time to share with each person in my heart.

Also, please pray with me for my dear friend, Tony Fiori. He is battling cancer. I wish for a positive, painless time for him filled with love. I hope he finds God and the spirituality he needs to feel safe. I treasure the impact he has made on so many. I love that he yells with more love than everyone I’ve ever met.

Closing Thoughts

In celebration of Labor Day, a quote to remind us why the day is a national holiday.

There is no substitute for hard work.” Thomas Edison

In saying that, try to time a bit of time on Labor Day to relax and reflect with those that are close to you.


Until we meet again, Carli Ann McClure (The Change Enthusiast)